The United States of Hetalia
by hedgehogkween
Summary: In an attempt to make America less of an dick the countries of the world, decided by Britain, are each going to take care of a state for a few months. Meanwhile, D.C. and America plan the upcoming Christmas party. Hetalia doesn't belong to me. (No longer updating this story, but I don't have the heart to take it down.)
1. Chapter 1

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 1

Another World Conference started the way they always did; America standing at the front giving a lecture on something _stupid, _Britain and France fighting over nothing, Other countries either talking about something way off topic or sleeping. All to be ended by Germany's yelling. For once though, something different happened. After Germany's loud rent about "This is a meeting not a jungle blah blah blah", Spain raised his hand to offer an idea. "How about we work on a way to make America less of an ass?"

The room was dead silent for all of about 7 seconds.

"I'LL SECONG THAT!" shouted Britain.

"Sounds like fun." Agreed Russia.

"I'll go for that." Added China.

Japan, Germany (followed by Italy), Canada, Finland, Hungary, Ukraine, the Baltics, France, Austria, Prussia, Belarus, Turkey, Greece, and Sealand agreed to the idea too.

"HEY! Hold up a sec!" shouted America "Don't I get a say in any of this?"

"NO!" Britain yelled "That's the whole idea; You're an ass, and we're going to change that! Bring all 50 states to the next meeting next week."

"I have a question." Started Italy "What's a "state"?"

America let his head fall painfully to the table.

"I'm doomed."

*America's POV*

During the drive home I could only think of two things:

How I was going to tell D.C.

Where to get about five cups of espresso to break the news more easily

When I got home, D.C. was standing near the door (actually, she was standing near the door, which was right next to the door). The first thing she noticed was the armful of espresso.

"Okay, What's up?" she asked immediately "You_ never _buy me this much espresso unless you need me to help you out or lend you money. And I'm not giving you money today."

"D.C.?..." I started, handing her the first espresso "We have a bit of a problem…"

I told her what we had to do in about a week. I didn't know her mouth could hold so much espresso until it was all over my shirt.


	2. Chapter 2

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 2 *America's P.O.V.*

Let me tell you, I had one hell of a time getting all 50 states to one location. I had to get all of them on planes to wherever the heck they were to New York in about 2 days. Then, I had to get them all on ANOTHER plane to get to the hotel we were having the World Conference at this month. Have you ever tried to control an airplane full of rowdy children? Think of it as a flying school bus of _hell_. Every minute or two, it was "Rhode Island, stop throwing paper cups at Hawaii!" or "California, put that away! There is _not_ a swimming pool at the hotel!" or "Alaska, your penguin is attacking *insert state name here*" or (only once or twice luckily "Florida/Louisiana, _control your alligator!"_. Actually, Louisiana had a crocodile, but whatever. At least nobody asked to "see the cockpit". Seriously, if D.C. hadn't been there, I would have jumped out of the plane. At least Alaska, when he had fallen asleep on his penguin, was being quiet enough. Why I ever allowed he stewardess to give the kids brandy, I have no idea. Utah was nice enough to lend me some of the aspirin she had brought with her (she always had that kind of stuff with her).

Then there was the hotel; since some of the states had brought their "animal friends" (pets what was normal people called them) with them, we had to drive all over town to find a decent kennel. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a kennel that takes ALLIGATORS (and crocodiles)? Seriously, why did I agree to this again? ... Oh wait, I DIDN'T. Alaska who, being the oldest one in the car, was allowed to sit shotgun. He was slumped against the window, more likely than not asleep. When we got back to hotel, we got to divide up pretty much the entire third floor. D.C. must've noticed how tired I was, because as soon as I was inside the door she handed me a coke. "Think of it as payment for the espresso yesterday." She said. Again, thank god for D.C. I had no idea what I'd do without her.


	3. Chapter 3

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 3 *D.C.'s POV*

Honestly, I don't know how Alfred does it. I was only a capitol, how was I supposed to watch forty-something kids in a hotel lobby, let alone remember all of their human names. Nevada was off drunkly hitting on a girl working in the food court (He probably had a ton of booze on the airplane). Rhode Island and Providence were arguing over who had the cutest girlfriend (although I couldn't tell them apart though). I thought of the meeting. I figured maybe it was time to start telling them what the other countries were like. I almost did too, until remembered that I had hardly met any of them myself. I slumped in an empty armchair next to a drunk-and-sleeping California. Honestly, some men, no matter how not-drunk, could sleep through anything.

"What's wrong Ms.D.C.? I looked up to see New Mexico staring down at me.

"Aw, nothing buddy. Just falling apart over here. Any idea if Utah has any more aspirin?" he nodded his head. "It's about the meeting, isn't it?"I swear, that kid is a dang mind reader. "I've met Mr. Spain before. Him and Mr. Mexico are always arguing when I go to his house for the weekend." I gave him a look. He took a seat next to me. "He's nice, they both are." I gave him a welcoming smile. New Mexico is really good at "reading the atmosphere", if that's how the kids say it these days. Just then I saw America's blue Silverstreak. "Thanks kiddo." I thanked him and went out to greet him after buying a coke from a nearby machine. For my sake, he better have brought coffee. A few dozen espressos sounded great right about now.


	4. Chapter 4

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 4 *America's POV*

When D.C. and I finally sorted out all of the rooms (which took a few hours itself), everyone gathered in the room D.C. and I were sharing (with two beds you perverts) to watch Cars 2, which most of them wanted to watch anyway. At some point during the movie, right before the race in Italy I think, North Carolina turned to me and asked "Are all Italians really _that_ mean?"

"No…" I thought about it. Feliciano was never mean to anyone. Ever. But Lovino is a totally different story.

"One half of Italy is, one isn't." She looked at me like I'd lost it.

"You see, Italy has two representatives, one is the north of the country and the other one is the south part." By this time, North Carolina was joined by her sister, Rhode Island, Providence, New Mexico, Montana, and Wyoming.

"What about the other countries?" started Providence "What are they like?" I thought about it for a minute, and decided to tell them about Britain. The detail about Britain's "caterpillar eyebrows" received a few giggles, and a few fits of laughter, followed by more laughing. The laughing attracted the attention of Utah, Washington, and Oregon. In the middle of Britain's cooking, I glanced up and saw D.C. talking to Alaska, who was more awake than I'd seen him since we got here. I was sure that he would take to Greece a bit at the meeting if he didn't fall asleep on the way there. They both share a love of sleeping and cats.

I looked over at Washington, who was whispering something to an offended Oregon. She started whispering in that angry hissing of hers. It make her sound like an angry snake. It attracted Rhode Island's attention, and he started hissing randomly at her, which attracted everyone's attention to him. That kid was going to be some kind of comedian when he got older, I swear.


	5. Chapter 5

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 5 *D.C.'s POV*

"Ms. D.C., what is America talking about?" I blinked. I hadn't noticed him talking in the first place, which was weird because he was such a loud person. But sure enough, he was talking to a large group of states about something that must've been hilarious, because they were all laughing. All I got through the laughing was "Britain" and "scones".

"I think he's telling them about some of the other countries." I told Alaska.

"I've met some of them before."

"Of course." I thought "Because I'm the only one who won't know anyone at this meeting but America."

"I've met Mr. Canada before. He seems nice, its hard to believe that he's actually related to Mr. America." I had met Canada before. He seemed so much nicer and more civilized than America sometimes. "I've also heard of another country but…" he started "I've never met him before."

"Who?"

"Mr. Russia."

I had heard about Russia before. America always came home complaining about how he came to the meetings drunk or brought vodka. _I_, of course, knew that we would have done better if we worked together with more countries, but whatever. Not up to me. I had more important things to think about. Like…

Alaska must've fallen asleep on his penguin while I was thinking about "what was more important". They had denied his penguin at the kennel because he… she… it "argued" with the employees. He wouldn't have been able to survive without that penguin anyway.

I sighed and thought about tomorrow. We had a whole other day until the meeting, so what would we do tomorrow? The thought of wandering aimlessly around town with Rhode Island _and_ Providence gave me a major espresso craving. I told America I was going down to the downstairs coffee bar to get some espresso. He told me it was fine as long as I got him a coke while he was downstairs.


	6. Chapter 6

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 6 *Rhode Island's POV*

"AAAH! You almost made me sit on Kevin!" I yelled at Dylan. He always made fun of Kevin. Someday, he would hatch and peck his stupid face out! I patted Kevin and put him into my pocket. Or her. I didn't know yet. I was eager to find out.

On most days, Ms. D.C. hated us, but today she took all of us kid states (and Alaska) out for ice cream. Me, Providence, North Carolina, South Carolina, New Mexico, Montana, Wyoming, and Hawaii. Carol and I had the Same favorite kind of ice cream: Chocolate Fudge. Ms. D.C. always had (of course) espresso chip. Espresso is, like, her favorite thing ever. She ran of espresso like cars run on gasoline. Alaska got vanilla, which I thought was always better with some kind of chocolate on it, even if it was dark chocolate.

The woman behind the counter asked Ms. D.C. how she could _babysit_ so many kids at once. She kinda didn't talk for a minute, and then told her that kids just loved her. Providence and I were cracking up behind her back. "Kids just love me?" I thought "that's the dumbest thing she's said all day." She at least remembered what kind of ice cream we all liked.

"Horsey flavor!" Montana called seeing the first cone, which was given to her. It's that king with strawberry and chocolate and vanilla. We don't know why she calls it horsey flavor. Probably some stupid reason she came up with. She had like 5 different horses at her house, and an old man called Mr. Fredric who took care of them all for her. He seemed nice, always listened when I told him about my next prank on D.C. Even if he was really asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 7 *North Carolina's P.O.V.*

I know Devon doesn't like her, but sometime Ms.D.C. does nice things for us. Today she took us all out for ice cream. I brought my stuffed squirrel, Gray, and Lynn brought her stuffed deer. I feel guilty for forgetting its name. Devon and I both got chocolate fudge ice cream, only I had mine in a cup and he had his in a cup. We used to make ice cream like this when we were kids. First we make the fudge, then the ice cream, then we made a huge mess and mixed it together. Then Lynn would come in and get mad at us and make us sit off to the side. Then Devon would take a plastic spoon and flick globs of ice cream at Mr. America. That was the last time we made ice cream together…

I'm so glad this part of the world has cardinals, they're so cute! They are my state bird after all. I loved seeing them at home but apparently they had them in this part of the world too. Wherever the heck we were… I asked Ms. D.C., and she said "somewhere between Bulgaria and Turkey". I asked her if they had ice cream in those countries too. She kinda didn't say anything, so I assumed that she went into another one of those "mental overload" things she goes into when she doesn't know the answer to a question.

I glanced over at Devon, who- with Kevin- was being protected by Lynn. She's more mature than I am, but also less fun. She tries to be like Ms. D.C. and use big words, but she doesn't know what any of those words mean, so sometimes she ends up looking silly. I don't remember how she used it, but she said the word "erogenous" and then Ms.D.C. took her to the side and explained what that word meant and why you shouldn't use it. She seemed very upset when she came back. Devon and Dylan knew what that word meant. Devon wouldn't tell me and Dylan was laughing so hard he was choking on his cigarette. I don't know why Lynn likes shim so much. Oh well, at least I had Devon! His cuter, not-smoking brother.


	8. Chapter 8

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 8 *America's P.O.V.*

D.C. decided that the states had "had enough of this stupid town for one day". I knew she was just tires of Devon's stupid jokes. Anyway, the states needed to not be late to the meeting tomorrow. Britain would _kill me_ if we were late. This was his fault in my opinion. D.C. agreed with me, mostly because they didn't like each other. We were sitting on a couch together, watching various groups of states play either electronic games or board games room service had brought up to make the kids (hopefully) be a little quieter. Nevada and California were trying (and failing miserably) to beat Indiana at mancala. He was a little younger than both of them, but _man_ that kid was good at mancala. Most of the kid states (New Jersey, Connecticut, North and South Carolina, Rhode Island, Providence, Florida, West Virginia, Montana, Wyoming, New Mexico, and Hawaii) were playing Monopoly, Boggle, and Life with some of the older states. Well, Rhode Island and Providence were playing "see who can flick the most little houses into D.C.'s espresso".

"Bonus points if it splashes on her face!" I told them. They looked at each other briefly (in shock) before proceeding to flick plastic real-estate at her. She slapped me across the face and put her cup on the side table.

"You _meanie!_" she shouted. I tried to restrain her arms, which resulted in me getting a kick in the leg. Rhode Island, Providence, and most of the other states were watching. Some of the guys started chanting "fight, fight ,fight, fight!" (I was so proud of them).I knew D.C. was into soccer and karate, but she can kick _super_ hard. She punched me in the stomach, which hurts a _lot_ more than it sounds like it does, and then was pulled off me by Utah and North Dakota. Oregon got the boys to stop flicking houses and then we decided (the clock said 9:48 p.m.) that it was time for the little kids to go to sleep. We herded them into their rooms and allowed the slightly older states to continue their games until 10:24 p.m. when Nevada and California decided to get out the brandy. D.C. and I sent them to bed (well, mostly D.C.), and then she forced me to watch whatever movie we could find on T.V… which ended up being the movie "Halloween". Which D.C. forced me to watch because she loves horror movies.


	9. Chapter 9

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 9 *Britain's POV*

I impatiently glanced at the clock on the far wall. 8:45 a.m. The meeting would start in 20 minutes.

"Where the _hell_ is America?" I shouted impatiently

"Why the rush?" came an obviously disinterested Spain.

"YOU of all people should know Spain, it was YOUR idea!"

"No, making America less of an _ass_ was my idea. Forcing him to bring all the states to the meeting was _your _idea. Is he even going to do it?"

"It would seem so." said Germany entering the room, Italy tagging behind like a baby duck.

"I still don't understand," whined Italy "What's a state?"

"A long time ago, America decided to split himself into 50 pieces-"

"48 actually, he bought Hawaii and Alaska." Interrupted Britain. Italy looked horrified at the idea of selling something so huge.

"C-can you really sell something as big as Hawaii or Alaska?" he asked nervously.

"Of course!" said Russia cheerfully "I sold Alaska to America, and it's his biggest state now. It's almost half the country on its own."

"ANYWAY," continued Germany "America has 50 pieces." Italy just stared at him.

"I still don't understand." He whined.

"_Look,_" sighed Germany "You've met Bayern before, right? It's like that."

"Ohhhh… But not all girls, right?" asked Italy "Because Bayern is a girl. And why don't more countries have states?"

"Because it's a stupid system!" shouted Britain "It's a stupid, disorganized, inconvenient system. The only thing states are good for are _distinguishing where the fat people live!"_

"What's this about fat people?" Everyone turned to the door to see a faux-happy America smiling between the huge double doors of the meeting room. Everyone except Britain, who glanced at the clock first. 9:10a.m.

"You're late."

And that's when all hell broke loose!

Well, the hell kinda starts next chapter and goes downhill from there. The next chapter contains the single funniest thing in the story… It was funnier when I still wanted Nevada to be a guy though… oh well. Also, "faux" means fake or false in French, and Bayern is one of the German states. Yeah, America isn't the only one with states! I was surprised too.


	10. Chapter 10

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 10 *America's POV*

"… for is distinguishing where the fat people live!" came Britain's loud, annoyed voice

"What's this about fat people?" I asked, sticking my head through the door, smiling and trying to look as not miffed as possible.

"You're late." He replied. _Someone_ was annoyed.

"_You_ try getting 50 kids onto a bus from hotel to hotel without half of them disappearing at some point, and then we'll talk about being late." I heard a few giggles from behind me and turned around to yell back "Thank you for making my point for me!" the giggling stopped. If Devon and Dylan didn't behave, there would be hell to pay. I turned back to the meeting room full of countries and couldn't think of a thing to say. This was weird for everyone on both sides of the door, because (as Britain and D.C. always told me) I never ever shut up. D.C. noticed my obvious lack of talking, and decided to step in and save my sorry ass… again.

"E-everyone!" all eyes turned to her as she pushed through a crowd of states. "These are the 50 states!" she announced. And at that moment, all hell broke loose. Why we didn't monitor the whiskey intake during breakfast more carefully, I have no clue. Nevada had pushed her way to the front of the crowd, obviously drunk, California right behind her.

"Hey thar everybuddy!" she shouted, and then fell back onto the floor, and was pulled behind the crowd by California. The meeting room, and the 50 states behind the door erupted into laughter. Even D.C. laughed. I would have laughed if I hadn't been thinking about how hopeless this idea was.

"I. Am. So. _Doomed._" I said to myself, smacking my head against the door.

Poor America!. I almost feel sorry for him.

There have been a lot of reviews (2 actually, which is a lot by my standards) about a Wisconsin character, and I'll try to fit him/her into the story soon. Even if I added him/her in the next chapter I wrote, That would be chapter 57 (which probably won't happen). Also, he/she might make it into a bonus chapter, which will be posted later. The first one is on DeviantArt if anyone wants to read it…


	11. Chapter 11

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 11 *D.C.'s POV*

I was laughing so hard, I almost didn't notice America. I couldn't act like what Nevada did wasn't funny, because it was! She'd been drunk as heck all the way here (and probably drinking on the bus) and nobody had noticed… or at least told me or America. The look on Britain's face made the whole thing so much funnier. He wasn't just the only one in the room not laughing, he was _mortified_.

"Like you've never made one mistake yourself, stupid brit." I thought. I looked over at America, hoping to see him laughing too. I stopped almost immediately when I saw his head against the door. I got some of the girl states to help me calm down the younger states and the guys (which by itself took a good 10 minutes). After everyone finally stopped laughing, the states started introducing themselves (which I hoped was a good sign). It felt like there were two sides, where everyone on each side knew each other, but nobody knew anyone on the other side. Nobody except me and America, of course (and neither of us were available at the moment). I peeled America's forehead off the door and dragged him outside the meeting room to escape Britain's scolding. I glanced back inside the room before sitting America down on a bench outside the meeting room. Hopefully, the states would do fine and nobody would be sent to the emergency room.

The emergency room thing is kinda foreshadowing, 2 countries are going to the emergency room… Britain and Finland.


	12. Chapter 12

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 12 *Italy's POV*

"EEEEEK! Oh my _gawsh_, he's sooooo cute!" that was the last thing I heard before I was smashed onto the ground by something fast and very heavy. I flapped my arms around, trying to get someone to move whatever was on top of me. I heard some muffled voices, and then someone finally moved it… I couldn't feel my legs.

"Washington, I think you might have uh… squished him."

"Don't be silly Oregon, people don't die from getting glomped! They just don't!"

"I don't know, he looks pretty dead to me…" Something poked at the back of my head.

"Hey," came the person apparently called Washington "You're not dead, are you? Please tell me you're not dead. I need you to not be dead." I managed to push myself up from the floor with my one un-squished arm, and something else helped me up the rest of the way.

"HA! I _told_ you he wasn't dead! Aaw, wookit, isn't he the _cutest?_" I couldn't reach my flag to tell the scary girls that _I surrendered please don't eat me_! Finally, someone else stepped in and made her put me down. She kinda dropped me in the process, so my face was squished against the carpet again. I couldn't find the strength to stand up again, but I finally had access to my white flag. I weakly waved it from my place on the ground.

"Veeeh, I surrender, don't eat meeeee…"

"If you didn't kill him this time, I'm not keeping the opportunity open again." Someone else peeled my face off the carpet. I looked up and it was a pretty girl with fluffy brown hair.

"I'm really sorry about that, she gets carried away sometimes."

Wow, this was a _reeeaally short _chapter. Sorry guys, once I get a better notebook with more lines on each page (and hopefully bigger pages) I'll be able to write more. Good news; I'm almost done writing chapter 57!... so I have a lot of typing to catch up on…


	13. Chapter 13

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 13 *Oregon's POV*

Honestly, what was Washington _thinking_? It was so like her to just run up and glomp the first cute, unsuspecting guy she saw. But I had to admit, the whole "surrendering" thing was totally new. I couldn't exactly blame him after getting squeezed half to death, but this was a whole new level of Washington-syndrome. I had to peel his face off the floor and, once again, apologize for her.

"I'm really sorry about that, she gets carried away sometimes." Well, the guy she had glomped today was _super_ adorable. He had this curly piece of hair sticking out from the side of his head just like Washington did, only different. Plus, he had tears on his cheeks, squished by the carpet prints on his face.

"Sooo… He's _not_ dead then?" Washington asked hopefully. He looked at her for about a second or two before trying to hide _behind_ me.

"S-scary girl!" he tried to hide behind my shoulder in an attempt to hide his carpet printed face. Most of the time, guys Washington glomped weren't exactly _scared_ of her, but they never really talked to her again, ever. She'd had over 100 years of practice to perfect the art of glomping, and she had a lot of experience with it now. This guy must've been a super wimp, because no guy had ever started _crying_ about it. He was waving his little white flag so fast that it was just a white blur now. So when Washington tried to put her face close to his…

"OW!" … it hit her in the face. It ripped some of the skin off her nose, which in my experience hurts a lot.


	14. Chapter 14

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 14 *Washington's POV*

"W-well," I said, rubbing my nose. "That's never happened before." It was true. Have you ever been hit with something so that it peels some of the dead skin off of you? Well, it hurts. A lot. And it's also a little sticky. I think Oregon was mad at me, but I didn't notice. I started crying a little, but it sounds like I'm choking when I cry or laugh.

"Veeeh, you're friend is creeping me out." He squeaked from behind Oregon.

"Stop it Washington, you're scaring him!" Oregon scolded.

"Sorry-" I said, trying to not sound like I was choking for real. Have you ever seen anyone turn white from, like, low blood sugar or something? Well me neither, but this is pretty much what I imagined it to look like. I was about to say something else before he got up and ran away shouting something like _"Germaaanyyyyyyy!"_ It was hard to tell what he was saying with all the sobbing in his voice. I felt kinda responsible for scaring him. He went running into some huge guy with really short hair. I really didn't want to be there when the fireworks started, but Oregon grabbed my wrist and dragged me over to apologize.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? That guy he ran into looks kinda-"

"I don't care how scared you are, you have to apologize." She cut me off. She had kinda picked up on me being scared of the huge guy. He looked kinda mad, but he wasn't looking at us at least. He was to busy trying to understand what the sobbing boy (whose name I still don't know) was saying. She pushed me almost into the sobbing boy and I kinda stared at him for a moment before saying anything.

"I'm sorry glomped you and made you cry." I said guiltfully. He said something back, but between the sobbing and the accent it was impossible to tell what he said. The tall guy he was clinging to translated for us.

"He says he's sorry for hitting you with his flag." He said. This, of course, interested Oregon.

"You speak blubbering idiot?" she asked.

"I understand it, I don't speak it. It's a difficult language to master." So off course, Oregon being Oregon, she had to talk to this guy on how to speak blubbering idiot. I decided to talk to the kid who had been crying now.

"Sooo… friends?" I held out my hand. He sniffled and shook my hand.

"S-sure, friends." As soon as he let go of my hand, I glomped him again. Only less forceful this time, and there was no crying, and he actually kinda hugged me back. Then we had a great conversation about something, but about halfway through he started babbling away in what I assumed to be Italian.

Yay, almost 15 chapters typed and I got a new writing journal with bigger pages! Also, for those who are wondering, DC is a canon character because she was in a episode… for about 2 seconds, but still!


	15. Chapter 15

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 15 *N. Dakota's POV*

"There's another one of Washington's victims." I point out to my big brother. He glanced at them, grunted, and looked back at whatever was in front of us.

"Poor guy." He replied. I like to say that my brother is a "man of action". Emphasis on the "I like to say" part, I really only say that to make myself feel better about having a brother who never talks. He probably has some weird thing he thinks about his cute, creepy, bipolar sister. I almost tripped over a guy who looked freakishly like Washington's latest victim. Maybe they were related, who knows. I tried to act perky and start a conversation with him.

"Hi! I'm Dakota, and this is my big brother Daniel. We're the states of North and South Dakota!" I hugged my brother and smiled, trying to act cute. The guy seemed annoyed that we were talking to him.

"Great, just what we need; more stupid _brats_." He whined. That ticked Daniel off, and when he gets ticked off he has to flip someone off. It's like a brain-finger instant reaction.

"F*** off my sister, old man." He replied flatly. The man seemed shocked, like nobody ever flipped him off before.

"_Brother!_" I shouted. "Apologize."

"No." he said flatly. He was _so_ uncooperative. I turned back to the old guy, who looked a little appalled.

"I'm so sorry sir, he's usually not like this." I apologized for him (that last part was a lie by the way). I felt like I was apologizing the way you would for a dog or a small or a small child. A woman in what looked like some kind of maid cosplay was laughing at us a little bit from behind us. She approached us, but only talked to me.

"You're brother is very weird." She commented flatly. Whenever someone says something mean about one of us and the other one is there to hear it (like the stupid brat comment), it's like an instant reaction of ours to protect them. It also triggers the whole "bipolar" thing.

"You aren't much better." I snapped "Nobody's dressed like that in over 200 years." She just laughed more.

"Maybe not in your country, but mine is quite different. Believe me." She glanced around briefly before looking back at me. "You seem to know how to stick to your brother, help me find mine." She didn't wait for me to reply before walking away. I followed her, praying that brother would be good on his own. I glanced back and that hope was killed when I saw him flip off that man again.

Poor Dakota, has to help Belarus (it was Belarus she was talking to). The "old man" was Romano, and he would actually be pretty old by their standards. As an explication for the next chapter, let me just say this:

Alaska used to belong to Russia, but being separated by the Pacific Ocean they almost never saw each other. When they did see each other, Alaska was treated as an outsider because nothing ever happened there because nobody lived there, and he was considered worthless. When America offered to buy him he was just a small child and Russia, who never really wanted him in the first place, sold him immediately. Of course, even before they found oil in Alaska he felt a little bad about it… Poor Alaska was actually scared of everyone else (especially America, and with good reason), and Canada helped a lot in taking care of him so he grew up not talking much if at all because he figured nobody would notice him either. Of course, that wasn't the case.

…Also, Texas and Hawaii appear first in chapter 23 (Someone asked about Texas).


	16. Chapter 16

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 16 *Belarus's POV*

This little girl was almost as weird as her brother. She kept looking around and saying "hello" or "nice to meet you" to everyone we passed and asking stupid questions. I was beginning to wonder why I'd brought her with me in the first place. She didn't know big brother, and I didn't know her.

"So why are you looking for your brother?" she asked.

"To make him marry me." Wasn't it obvious?

"Wow! I've never met a live incest pairing before!" I glared at her and she shut up. I had no idea what an "incest pairing" was, but I was learning about it from a teenage girl so it couldn't be anything good.

Finally I saw him; Brother Russia… talking to another girl. I crouched behind a table and the annoying pink-headed girl did the same.

"_what are we looking at?"_ she whispered, trying to act… "sneaky".

"_My big brother is over there __**talking to a girl.**__"_ I hissed, preparing to jump at him.

"Is your brother the one with red hair?"

"No."

"Is he the one in the dress?"

"_No."_

"Is he the one with red hair?"

"_NO!"_ I almost shouted. Americans were so annoying. "He is the one in the long coat with beautiful shiny hair!"

"Really?" she asked "Because that's not a girl he's talking to, that's just Alaska." I stared at her, then back at my brother, then back at her.

"There is no way that person is male."

"He is! Look, he doesn't have any boobs." She pointed at him. I shot her an annoyed look which she didn't seem to see. "And his hair is all scruffy. What girl lets her hair get all scruffy?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"As long as he isn't going to seduce my brother. If anyone is going to invade his Siberia region _it WILL be me!"_

"Siberia? I've heard about Siberia!" Darahi boh, why don't Americans have mute buttons?

"There are some parts of Siberia where it's so filthy and disgusting that the snow is _black_! There was this girl in California who-"

"_SHUT UP!"_ I shouted "I don't care about stupid American stories about stupid American girls or their stupid cats or whatever!" there was a moment of silence in which I realized the Alaska had snuck away and Big Brother was staring at me. I took this opportunity to pounce on him. He was screaming a lot but I knew it was out of love.

"Wait! I didn't get to the part about the cats yet!" she shouted. Slava bohu, her pink-headed brother came and dragged her away just as I had topped big brother.


	17. Chapter 17

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 16 *Providence's POV*

I never could figure out Mr. America. All week he'd been dreading this meeting and everyone was thinking that it was going to be long and boring and there wouldn't even be snacks. Not only were there snacks (from around the world by the way), it was more like a giant party or a convention or something. Not only that, but there were so many stuffy adults to pull pranks on that I could hardly pick one. My brother Devon was actually _talking_ to someone so I decided to go up to a man who had a hair curl like Mr. America but it was kinda purplish and purple eyes to match.

"Hey! Hey mister!" I said. He ignored me, continuing to talk to a woman in a long green dress.

"HEY! Mister!" I shouted. He rolled his eyes and slowly turned to face me. He had a serious face that I could swear was frozen that way.

"Vhat do you-"

"AAAUGH! TURD ALERT, RUN AWAY!" I screamed, running away as fast as I could. The man didn't do anything but the woman he'd been talking to was chasing me with a frying pan. I ran through the crowd, trying to find Lynn and tell her that the ladies at this place just couldn't stay away from me. I ran into what felt like a million people (but was probably only two or three) who had unrecognizable accents. I finally ran into a kid with an accent like grandpa's only in a higher voice.

"Sorry mister country dude!" I shouted back at him. He had grandpa's eyebrows too, and he looked a little like America too. He was wearing a sailor outfit which looked a little strange since he was surrounded by "mature" adults but whatever. I didn't care anyway because I'd just found Lynn!

"Hey Lynn! Hey! Hey Lynn!" I shouted. I knew she was rolling her eyes at me but I was used to it. She turned and stared at me.

"Ugh, what?"

"You'll never guess what I just did."

"Hmm, let me guess; You ran through a crowd of semi-mature countries and siblings to find me while being chased by a kid in a sailor suit?"

"Yeah I- wait what?" I turned around the sailor kid had followed me and was looking freakishly happy. There's probably some big word to describe that much happiness but I wouldn't know it because big words don't sit well with my stomach.

"Y-You!" he panted, apparently having run after me. "You called me a country! And I greatly appreciate it!"

"Uh, okay." I said. "Uh… you're welcome?"

XxXxXxX

Yay, I'm still doing this story! Since I'm forcing myself to take a break from Texas + Alaska, I'm probably going to be typing up more of this.


	18. Chapter 18

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 18 *Sealand's POV*

At first I'd thought that this meeting would be lame. I thought that all the kids would be like little Americas and that I'd have to sneak in the back window with Prussia and the other ex-nations again. As it turned out, not only was it not lame and I was recognized as a country by America but I got to go through the front door today because I snuck in with the America spawns.

"Are you… not a country?" asked the girl with short black hair. She looked like one of those people who acted really smart but is really just kinda mean.

"Of course I am! If I weren't a country would I be at this meeting?!" I asked

"We're not countries." She said quickly.

"Texas used to be a country." Pointed out the boy. "And so did Hawaii… and we kinda were for a little while."

"Colonies aren't the same thing as countries stupid."

"Well someday I'll make myself a country. Me and all the other guys and we'll have a party and I WON'T GIVE YOU ANY OF MY CAKE so don't even ask." He shouted, taking out a strange smelling water bottle.

"Dylan! Public place!" shouted the girl, snatching it away quickly.

"Hey, I just gots a crazy idea guys." He said. "Okay, okay, so we should get an elephant and-"

"Oh, I already know I'm gonna hate this… see you later guys, I'm gonna go do something else." She said, walking away.

"So… what was that you were saying about the elephant?" I asked, suddenly interested.

XxXxXxX

Okay, so I think maybe I should start combining chapters. Next time I'll post 19 and 20 together. Just tell me what you guys think of that.


	19. Chapters 19 and 20

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 19 *China's POV*

All of the stupid children at this stupid meeting were so immature. The only interesting thing that had happened at all was when one of them had made America look stupid. All of their stupid talking was giving me a headache.

"I wonder if any of these stupid kids have any ibuprofen…" I asked myself absently. "Here." Someone said next to me, handing me five or six ibuprofen tablets. I took them and looked up at the person. It was a girl with long brown hair, half in a braid and half in a ponytail. She was on a laptop looking at….. _things._

"Um, thanks but I think this is too many." I said.

"Just keep it." She said.

"But don't you want the extras back?"

"Just… keep it." She replied. She finished whatever she was doing and finally glanced at me. "I'm Utah by the way."

"Oh, I've never heard of you before." I said. "Why does America let you carry ibuprofen around with you all the time?"

"He doesn't really care as long as we don't give it to people."

"Then shouldn't I give these back?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Nah, you already touched it. Besides, I have tons." She pulled open a back at her feet that seemed to contain nothing but medication and cosmetics.

"How much of this do you actually need-aru?" I asked.

"You'd be surprised. I use more painkillers than anybody else here." She sounded proud.

"Isn't that called overdose?"

"Not if you take it in moderation. Besides, they're so minty." She said. She took out another bottle labeled "melatonin" and took two more tablets. "Sooo minty… Oh look, the elephant is back."

"I'm pretty sure that there's no elephant." I said. Seriously, how did America raise his kids?

"Nope. That's definitely an elephant." She insisted. I looked up to humor her. Surprisingly, there was an actual elephant standing in the room. It was a very small elephant (comparatively speaking), but it was definitely an elephant. And it was chasing Britian.

"Should we go help him?" I asked sarcastically.

"Nah, he'll be fine. It's only an elephant. Besides, I don't think I've ever seen Providence so happy in my life."

"…What is a Providence?"

"That blonde kid on the back of the elephant."

"Which one? There are two?"

"The one that's not in the sailor suit."

Chapter 20 *Providence's POV*

I really wasn't sure why Sealand hated Britain so much but hey, if it means I get to ride an elephant then I totally agreed with him! I started thinking about how much power the elephant could give me and if I could use it to take over the world… or at least the country. If he was a country, why not me? I looked around at the various countries and states around the room, most of which were ignoring us.

"Does this kind of thing happen often?" I asked.

"Well it's the first time I've ever used an elephant. I think someone brought a bull one time though… so what were we going to do with this elephant again?"

"I wanna use it to run over England with." I laughed, satisfied at how almost evil I sounded. Sealand grinned brightly and help up a hand for me to high-five, which I did eagerly. "It's gonna be so totally awesome." At that moment we heard a strange noise and looked over the side of the elephant. England had been knocked over by it at some point and was laying on the floor. About half of his body was out of view, but I knew he couldn't be dead or else he'd be bleeding more. I'd guess the elephant was standing on a foot, maybe a leg or something. Honestly, I thought it would be more funny. Not that it wasn't funny, but… it was still a little weird. A few people laughed, most didn't pay attention, some still hadn't even noticed the elephant. Nobody really seemed to care other than that, which was actually pretty dang disappointing because whenever I do something at home usually someone will at least yell at me, and that means that I've done a good job.

"That was boring…" I muttered, crossing my arms.

"It was brilliant!" shouted Sealand. I glanced at him, raising one eyebrow. He was obviously more impressed by the whole thing that I was.

Eventually someone decided to take the elephant away, and by that time England was on his way to the emergency room. America did, at least, come back into the room with Ms. DC afterward though. I would like to think they were kissing or something out there, but I know that wouldn't happen. He's waaaaay out of her league.


	20. Chapters 21 and 22

The United States of Hetalia

Chapter 21 *Maryland's POV*

When America told us that this meeting would be kinda like a party, I expected you know- A _party_. Or at least booze. And maybe some cute guys. I wished I could be back home, eating some good food. Crab maybe, that was always good. I slumped into a chair next to Maine, who glared at me with somewhat distaste.

"Gooooooood, this whole thing is such a drag, huh?" I laughed, glancing at her.

"I don't know, I've been enjoying myself… I haven't gotten to see Arthur yet though, I wanted to show him what I've learned."

"Right… now which one is "Arthur" again?" I asked. Not that I really cared.

"Oh, nobody special, just the one who started this country." She snapped.

"So… England, right? Arthur is a geeky sounding name for a geeky guy like him."

"Can't you at least show a little respect?" she sounded ticked off, but that only made it so much more fun to mess with her.

"Why should I? That jerk tried to keep us from getting our independence!"

"Not that we really needed it…"

"Did you see all the crazy taxes he was putting on us?" I frowned, sitting up a little.

"Which were lower than even his own people's taxes you know…"

"Yeah, well…" I growled. "What do you know? You're hardly even a real state, you were only even separated from your brother because of Missouri." I stood up, walking away to find someone else to talk to. She looked a little bit hurt, but it wasn't like I even felt bad or anything. Like, at all. I just went to the other side of the room and sat down with someone else who looked a little bit like France, only not really. I grunted and he glanced at me, looking away from the chick he was talking to. At least, it kinda looked like a chick. It could've been a guy. They both had long hair, one of them was blonde and the other one had brown hair. I gave them a wave and glared at Maine from across the room, half listening to their conversation.

Chapter 22 *Austria's POV*

I'd been looking for Hungary again when Spain pulled me to the side, pointing at two young boys that were walking through the crowd of people.

"Aren't they just the cutest?" he squeaked. I glanced at them for a moment and then looked back at him.

"No, they aren't. I think one of them screamed in my face earlier…"

"They remind me of Italy and Romano~" he laughed, watching them in the oh-so-stalkery way he had.

"Those brats are nothing like them. Just look at them." I frowned, glancing at him again. He obviously wasn't listening. "If those two were mine, there would be no way they'd act like that…"

"Hey, that's not a bad idea!"

"What?"

"It'd be just like old times, we can each take one! Wouldn't that be fun?" We stared at each other for a moment before I flicked him on the nose and walked away, hoping to find Hungary this time.

"I am not agreeing to that." I mumbled.  
>"Aw, come on!" he laughed. I looked back to see that he was following me.<p>

"Speaking of the Italy's, why don't you go find them? I'm sure Romano is just dying to see you…" he sighed, giving me a nod and then prancing off in another direction. I rolled my eyes, bumping into someone.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't-"

"It's alright sir." I looked up. I'd bumped into Hungary, who was the last person I would have expected but was a lucky surprise. She had been talking to a girl with an Alligator, granted it didn't have more than a few teeth for safety reasons but I couldn't help wanting to get away from the thing.


End file.
